Friday, December 18, 2009

The Parent Question

The Parent Question

Have to go for a feast or kenduri today. What's so special about this feast? It is my, let say student. She is getting married. I taught her when she was twelve years old, when she was in standard 6. I only taught her for a year but the bond between a teacher and a student never broke even until today. Sometimes, when she's having a problem with her life or her studies and even with her fiance, she would usually consult me. Times like this sure make one feels older than before.

In Islam, marriage is considered a beautiful holy connection between a man and a woman. There's nothing unnatural about it. Opposite attracts right? Sex is considered a gift from God. A pure and beautiful expression to ensure the continuity of the human race. What's so odd about that? The outcomes of it are cute little offspring that would be the poison and the cure for the mothers and fathers. Well, it's a Malay saying actually, or is it just my mother's. Being the poison would of course means that children would be a source of headache and heartache for parents. And as they themselves are the poison, they themselves are the cure or must be the cure. A parent's heart is easily broken by her or his child. The percentage of love involved is so high that if something wrong happened resulting from some misunderstanding, the hurt would be immeasurable.

I want to share with you some verses in the Koran regarding about parents.

And when We made a covenant with the Children of Israel: 'You shall not worship any other than God; and to be good to parents, and the near of kin; and to orphans, and to the needy; and speak well to men; and observe prayer and pay the alms', then you turned away; all but a few of you, rejecting.

Prescribed for you, when any of you is approached by death and leaves behind some good, is to make testament in favour of his parents and kinsmen honourably - an obligation on those that fear.

They will ask you about what they should expend. Say, 'Whatever you expend of good it is for parents and kinsmen, orphans, the needy, and the traveller; and whatever good you may do, God has knowledge of it'.

Mothers suckle their children for two full years for such as desire to fulfil the suckling. It is for the father to provide them and clothe them honourably. No soul is charged save to its capacity; a mother shall not be harmed by her child; neither a father by his child. The heir has a similar duty. But if the two desire by mutual consent and consultation to wean, then they would not be at fault. And if you desire to seek nursing for your children, you would not be at fault, provided you hand over what you have given honourably, and fear God, and know that God sees what you do.

And worship God, and associate nothing with Him. Be kind to parents, and near kindred, and to orphans, and to the needy, and to the neighbour who is near, and to the neighbour who is a stranger, and to the friend at your side, and to the wayfarer, and to what your right hands own. Surely God loves not the conceited, and the boastful.

O you who believe, be upright in justice; witnesses for God, even though it be against yourselves; or parents and kinsmen, whether the person be rich or poor; God is closer to the two. So do not follow any whim, lest you swerve, for if you twist, or refrain, surely God is ever aware of what you do.

Say: 'Come, I will recite that which your Lord has made a sacred duty for you: that you associate nothing with Him, that you be dutiful to parents, and that you do not slay your children, because of poverty - We will provide for you and them - and that you do not draw near any acts of lewdness, whether it be manifest or concealed, and that you do not slay the life which God has made sacred, except rightfully. This is what He has charged you with that perhaps you will understand.

O Children of Adam! Let not Satan tempt you, as he caused your parents to go forth from the Garden, stripping them of their garments to manifest to them their shameful parts. Surely he sees you, he and his tribe from where you do not see them. We have made the devils friends of those who do not believe.

And he raised his parents upon the throne, and they fell down, prostrating before him. Then he said, ‘O father, this is the interpretation of my vision of old. Indeed my Lord has made it true. And indeed He has been gracious to me, since He brought me out of the prison and has brought you from the desert after Satan had incited ill feeling between me and my brethren. Truly my Lord is Subtle in [bringing about] what He will. Truly He is the Knower, the Wise.

Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and [forgive] believers on the day when the reckoning shall come to pass’.

And your Lord has decreed that you worship none save Him, and kindness to parents. If they should reach old age with you, one of them or both then do not say to them ‘Fie’ nor repulse them, but speak to them gracious words.

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: ‘My Lord, have mercy on them, just as they reared me when I was little’.

Your Lord knows best what is in your hearts. If you are righteous, then truly, to those who are penitent He is Forgiving.

O John! Hold on to the Scripture firmly'. And We gave him judgement, while still a child,

and compassion from Us, and purity, and he was God-fearing,

and dutiful to his parents. And he was not arrogant or rebellious.

And We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents, but if they urge you to ascribe to Me as partner that of which you do not have any knowledge, then do not obey them. To Me will be your return whereat I will inform you of what you used to do.

And We have enjoined man concerning his parents — his mother bears him in weakness after weakness, and his weaning is in two year. ‘Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the journey’s end.

And We have enjoined man to be kind to his parents. His mother carries him in travail, and gives birth to him in travail, and his gestation and his weaning take thirty months. So that when he is mature and reaches forty years he says, ‘My Lord! Inspire me to give thanks for Your favour with which You have favoured me and my parents, and that I may act righteously in a way that will please You, and invest my seed with righteousness. Indeed I repent to You and I am truly of those who submit [to You]’.

O sister of Aaron your father was not a wicked man, nor was your mother unchaste'.

Thereat she pointed to him. They said, 'How can we talk to one who is in the cradle, [still] a little child?'

He said, 'Lo! I am God's servant. He has given me the Scripture and made me a prophet.

And He has made me blessed wherever I may be and He has enjoined upon me prayer and alms-giving, as long as I remain alive;

and [He has made me] dutiful towards my mother. And He has not made me arrogant, wretched.

There is a fitnah I recalled trying to confuse readers about this phrase, O sister of Aaron in faithfreedom or jihadwatch, I can't recall correctly, but if one had learned the art of comparison or some aspect of literature, one would understand that sometimes words can't be deciphered literally. But liars can't of course miss this opportunity to attack Al Quran. But then being strangely and awfully silent after he had been debunked. As always.

O sister of Aaron your father was not a wicked man, nor was your mother unchaste'.

You see, when Mariam conceived a baby without marriage, the Israelite couldn't help to mock her for acting as a woman of chaste, I presume, that they even called her, the sister of Aaron. Or maybe some of them were actually, totally shocked and disappointed in her, being so chaste and pure but end up giving birth to a baby without a marriage. We will never know won't we. We were all called children of Adam, does it literally means that our father's name is Adam?

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